If you grew up in the 90s like I did, this song might be your jam! In the song “Bills, Bills, Bills”, Destiny’s Child asks a man if he can pay her bills, then maybe we can chill. While I have a problem with asserting that an unmarried man should pay your bills, there are several things I love about this song. The chorus continues…”you trifling, good for nothing type of brother…silly me, why haven’t I found another?”
The images in the video portray a man who is lazy, broke, unmotivated and lacking direction. I wholeheartedly agree that you should look for these qualities in a man as signs of his inability to lead your family. However, I want to caution you to look beyond a man’s financial status in determining his fit as the head of the home.
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Just because a man makes a lot of money, that does not automatically make him a good provider!
Is he lazy, selfish or an irresponsible spender? These are some indications that he will NOT be a good provider. Don’t get married based on where your man is financially, that could literally change for the better or for the worse overnight. For instance, a man with a great paying job could get laid off. Will he fall into depression and retreat from his responsibilities? Or will he be motivated enough to get back on his feet in order to take care of his family? Likewise, a man without a job doesn’t make him unqualified to provide for your family. Is he looking for a job, is he in college, is he building a business? All of these are indicators that he has the WILL to provide. A good provider must be willing and able to build vision. Depending on when you get married, a man could be in the planning, building or enjoying stage of his life. You need to clearly identify where he is and judge accordingly.
Instead of checking a man’s bank account, you need to check his heart.
Is he hard-working, resilient, is he generous and does he spend responsibly? These are a few of the qualities that indicate a man’s ability to be a good provider. So while I love Bills, Bills, Bills as much as any 90s lady let’s move beyond the superficial and identify the true qualities of a Godly man.
Instead of asking can he pay your bills, bills, bills, ask yourself can he